Friday, July 9, 2010

Anniversary, birthdays, and travelling. Oh my!

Time to collect my thoughts and try to make some sense of them on the blog whilst the boys wrestle on the couch, best not to look at them I've decided. Bad for my heart. I am tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. BUT I made coffee with some pumpkin pie spice thrown into the grounds (a little Christmas in July) and that plus my uh....Us Weekly have perked me up considerably.

With two very special birthdays on the horizon I realized it's been nearly four years since I've really slept. It's no wonder I've aged exponentially. Forgetting what it feels like to be responsible only for oneself is an odd transition. At first it feels like fear and then anxiety, later it becomes as natural as breathing and you start to wonder if you'll ever be able to let go and let your children pilot their own lives. Of course I will. I still carry with me the emotions of giving birth to both my babies, of holding them and nursing them for the first times. Jack will be FOUR years old, and Harvey will be two. In some ways that hardly seems possible and in others I feel they have always been a part of me because they are such a necessary piece of who I am today. In a thought process not far from that lies the SEVEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY that Justin and I just celebrated. I can still feel the wedding dress slipping over my 4th-of-July-Vegas-tanned skin, the butterflies in my stomach as my dad took my arm, and the unexpected tears falling as I made my vows. I would not be who or where I am today without Justin. I love him. And the fermenting crock sitting of my counter and the flock of geese he gifted through Heifer give just a glimpse into how deeply he knows and loves me. A lot.

Next week we are leaving for a big family reunion at my grandparents home in a tiny town in northern Idaho. This will be our first experience travelling with the boys. They are going to LOVE Idaho. The property is smothered with pines and their home is surrounded by a creek (crick) budding with frogs and water snakes. My grandma is an artist (google her - Leata Judd) and her art studio is every child's dream. My grandparents are youthful, active, and carry an infectious energy with them. I'm longing to sit in their kitchen, converse, soak in the air that reminds me of childhood summers spent there in that very house that my grandpa built the year of my birth. My dad and I lived there with them the year I turned five. That's when the sounds and smells of Idaho really sunk in and stayed for good. I can't wait to share the experience with my family! Leaving our door and arriving at theirs will take about eight hours. Pray for us.

Jack is in a really good place. This last rememdy (x-ray) brought a few days of rigity but that has already passed and in it's place lies a beautiful desire to fully engage in the fun around him. Everything is a turn-taking game, imaginative play, and keeping up is the communication needed for those activities. And Harvey is right there with him, hanging on Jack's every move. He has energy for DAYS, I wonder how he'll fare when Jack is in preschool for four hours four days a week. Hopefully with naps! Yesterday was Jack's last day of speech therapy and preschool begins in August.

To a month of milestones....and beyond!

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