Monday, January 31, 2011

Get your freak-out on!

Raging Bull$h!#??

Or something less worthy of mocking? You be the judge.

Ten days ago, I started the voodoo, aka - Heilkunst homeopathic remedies. My first specific trauma remedy was for the massive amount of insanity that parenting a child with special needs can add to your psychological well being anxiety. I truly did not put much expectation into how my body would react. I explained to my friend Brooke that I viewed it as a means of overall wellness, "like taking a vitamin". Pshhhh... A vitamin that feels like chrystal meth. But I digress...

SO, although Jack always seems to react to remedies between days nine and twelve, a reaction was not on my radar (or calendar, aka - my brain). When I woke up repeatedly with raging anxiety, I was perplexed. I hadn't had any caffeine (still off that crack), I wasn't nervous or stressed about the following day, hmmm... It wasn't until the morning that I figgered it out. AHA! And then I got (even more) excited. A reaction means it's working.

I'm coping well with the non-stop adrenaline rush. I'm fairly used to it since I've battled it off and on in the past, though it's been a while. I "use my evil for good" by playing with the kids more excitedly, baking cookies, and cleaning and stuff. Okay, and I think I'm freaking Justin out a little with my nonstopchatterandWILDarmmovements.

They keep the family less scared and uncomfortable.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Which came first?

Which came first? The chaotic or the neurotic?

Yesterday, Jack (and Harvey?) dumped every toy they own into a pile that spanned the entire living room. When I discovered it (I was off cleaning up some other disaster no doubt), I yelled asked "You guys dumped out ALL the toys??" to which Jack responded "I was looking for something". Being empathetic mother of the year, I grumbled something to the affect of Ihopeyoufreakingfoundit. It wouldn't be all that bad accept that I like to keep all their teeny tiny toys separated into little bins a la Target. Dragon bin, tool bin, musical instrument bin, etc. It's helpful to them, I swear.

Then, with an armload of things to put away, I noticed a few drops of Harvey's So Delicious chocolate coconut milk on the stairs. Hmph, guess it could be worse, I thought. Get to the top of the stairs and it's "AW, CRAP...IT IS WORSE"...

Whenever our family room starts to get a little out of hand (which is every couple of hours if we're home) I scoop everything up and sort it into little piles on the kitchen island and then deal with each pile. Laundry to the washer, toys to the living room, get the idea. It really is affective.

or it's just another flashing neon sign reading: "THIS CHICK'S NEUROTIC"

At any rate, I try really hard to get cleaning and organizing done while the boys are out or busy so that my need for order doesn't totally eff them up. If that is even possible. I mean, I was not brought up by an obsessive people. And who am I kidding? I'd be so damn proud if they actually started compulsively picking up and organizing. As it is, they compulsively trash the place so what's the risk really?

FOODIE Friday: Pork and Veg Edition

The Roasted Pork and Vegetables Edition

The veggies are the laborious quotient so start them good and early, you'll need about an hour and a half. Set your oven to 400 degrees and start choppin'. I chose tiny potatoes, fennel, carrots, and I added garlic toward the end - nothing worse than burned and bitter garlic.

Arrange in thin layers on glass baking dishes (or roasting pan, I'm a glass snoot) and coat with olive oil, salt, and pepper. The labor begins about fifteen minutes in, that's when you'll need to start pulling them out and flipping them around about every fifteen minutes until they are cooked down, caramelized, and smell like heaven.

About an hour into your vegetable roasting you can combine the veggies into one pan and toss your pork loin (which you want to let sit at room temp for a bit before cooking) into the newly available one. Salt and pepper it (or perhaps something fancier?) and begin roasting. Cook time depends on the size of your loin, mine took about 30 minutes.

You don't even have to be a pervert to write your own caption for this one...

The veggies will cook down to less than half their original volume but they will taste ten times better. I started dinner late and our kids go to bed EARLY so we fed them bananas and other snacks, romanced them to sleep, and then stuffed our faces.

DON'T forget the gravy.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Threads Thursday

Alternate title: In which I can shop in the name of "research".

Back in style? Batwing wear. Not a fan. No offense if you rock it, clearly you are not alone because they are "IN" and must be flying off the shelves.


What I am digging are the cute little boxy tops I'm seeing everywhere. So I picked up two!

Cute right?

Had to cut my shopping jaunt short cuz I had frozen goodies from Whole Paycheck sitting in the car. Best find of the day (threads included) were THESE:

Allergen free FRENCH TOAST STICKS!!!!

ETA: The boys like them. I, however, think they pretty much taste like canola oil. I can do better. Don't give up, Ian's!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My Chemical-free Romance

I beg to differ, sister.

I'm a chemical phob. (wipe that shock and awe off you're face!) I do a fair amount of cleaning with vinegar and baking soda, but mostly I use good old fashioned hot soapy water. Yeah, it actually does work. Bathrooms though, they deserve something concocted by a professional, I suck at chemistry, dudes. These have earned the Juniper seal of approval:

method - eucalyptus mint toilet bowl cleaner

Seventh Generation - lemongrass & thyme bathroom cleaner

They get the job done and leave my bathroom smelling more like an herb garden and less like a meth lab. *Swoon*

Tuesday, January 25, 2011


It's my instinct not to breathe a word of this to anyone. But I think we all know I'm not really one for that.

My kids only woke up once last night. Let me rephrase. MY KIDS ONLY WOKE UP ONCE LAST NIGHT.

Jack, upon waking, climbed into our bed where his feet on Justin's back/hand down my shirt routine commenced. Time to start carrying that boy (and his wandering appendages) back to his bed.

Harvey, upon waking, PUT HIMSELF BACK TO SLEEP. I went in to check on him and his blanket was over his head. As I desmothered him, he mumbled "I luh you, too".

Then I went back to sleep for five hours. Uninterrupted.

Life is good.

Monday, January 24, 2011

The End of an (ugly bra wearin') Era

For over five years I have been pregnant or breastfeeding (no pity please!), it has been such an inspiring time of self growth. Nourishing and bonding with my boys provided more than purpose for me - it changed my perspective, my pre-conceived notions, forced my needs aside in a very positive way. I didn't expect to love breastfeeding, though I was determined to do it. I knew it was best for my baby. Turns out, I had NO IDEA how necessary it would be for my firstborn.

I suppose in an odd way I can thank food allergies for the closeness that breastfeeding brought to our family. Sleepless nights combined with the early stages of nursing may have had me cracking open that canister of formula. The thing was, that formula would have sent my baby to the ER. Fortunately, being the brand new mama bear that I was, I was happy to live on chicken and rice if it meant my little Jack was comfortable and healthy. I catch myself from time to time thinking "what happens to the babies who are adopted and have these kinds of allergies?" "what would have happened to Jack?"....he probably would have been labeled failure to thrive...or worse.

Allergies also brought out the fighter in me. You see, when I went to our pediatrician (at age 3 weeks) with our list of concerns (screaming in pain, chronic bloody diarrhea, eczema), I was told he had GERD and cradle crap cap. I was instructed to give him ADULT Mylanta and to rub baby oil on his skin. I turned to google where in less than an hour I determined that cutting cow's milk protein from my diet was the thing to do. I read that five percent of babies are sensitive to cow's milk, why didn't the pediatrician think to mention that as even a possibility? Allergen free breast milk nourished my baby in a way that nothing else could have. My love for breastfeeding grew.

my sweet lil' chunka

For the first nine months of nursing Harvey I cut the top 8 allergens from my diet just in case. Then I had a RAST done and all was negative! He was a champion feeder from the start and is a foodie like his mama. Last week I snapped a few photos of Harvey nursing. I wasn't sure it would be the last time but I had a feeling it might be. After ending night feedings I was having to initiate daytime sessions. Although I know he was ready and I feel peaceful about the transition, I'll treasure that time for the rest of my life....and the photos will help to keep my sweet memories alive.

And so the chapter closes. It's goodbye to sweet baby milk breathe, bras with trap doors, and demands for "BOOBIE" in line at the grocery store. No more middle of the night whispers of "mama, dis boobie is all gone, I need da udder one". But we are equally as bonded, as snuggly, lovey, and nurturing as we have always been. I know this bond will continue to change in form but I'm confident it will be there always.

Friday, January 21, 2011

FOODIE Friday: Sunflower Cookies Edition

Peanuts, eat your heart out!

Upon hearing this conversation from the other room this morning:

Harvey: (eating a breakfast bar containing wheat and dry milk) Jack, I like dis!
Jack: No no no, I can't have it. I'm allergic to it. I can't have cookies and cheese and peanuts and eggs and milk. I'm allergic to everything.
Harvey: Yeah, you 'lergic.
Jack: Come on, let's shake the allergic out!

I walk in to find them flailing around like they took a hit of e at a rave. "We're shaking out the allergic, come on mama, shake out the allergic with us!!".

That's when I declared "it's baking day". And (for those of you familiar with Le Backyardigans) we sang to the tune of Racing Day:

Baking day, it's baking day!
Baking day, it's baking day!
We only have A.P.E. today,
today's the day we bake!

We made muffins and Sunflower Cookies inspired by a post on The Allergic Kid who coincidentally (hee) reviewed Food Allergies and Me! Our recipes are very different because of our limitations so check hers out too!

Sunfower Seed Butter Cookies

3/4 cup of sunflower seed butter
3/4 cup of sugar (I use organic evaporated cane juice)
1/4 cup of brown sugar (same as above)
1/2 smashed ripe banana
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoons hemp milk
3/4 cup of buckwheat flour (I use Arrowhead Mills)
1/4 tsp of baking soda

Cream together sunflower seed butter (I use Trader Joe's but any Sunbutter will do), sugar, smashed banana, olive oil, and hemp milk. Sift together buckwheat flour and baking soda and slowly mix in to wet ingredients.

Pause to wipe a hiney - oh, that's just me? Okay then.

Drop by the rounded tablespoon onto parchment lined baking sheet and criss cross with a fork. Bake at 350 degrees for 18 - 20 minutes.

And, okay, I really need to stop doubting my abilities because these are yummy looking, delicious, AND good for you. They are salty and sweet, crispy and chewy. I'm sure they're tasty on day two, but ours didn't last that long.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Baby Blue Eyes

Harvey's turn!

Um, I think mom needs to get out more...

Who me??

Livin' the sweet life....

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

You Got Growin' Up To Do

It dawned on me this morning that I haven't really shown off just how beautiful my babies were as....well, babies. I'll showcase Jack first (chronologically logical) and Harvey tomorrow. Dedicating a song to each of them, seems I'm feeling extra sappy today.

Peas on earth, man
(prior to knowing he's allergic to the adorable legume)

"My mom let's me play with computer cables, my mom rocks"

My mama, mine!

And no, I'm not "leaving Jack alone"....Just a precious reminder to give him time, he's growing up just beautifully.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Follow Me

If you read me, follow me!! I moved my followers list so it's super easy, it's right over ---> there. See it??! Go ahead, click on "follow" can do it! My ego thanks you.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Bullies: then, now, and always

I remember the day I first got a taste of what bullying really is. I was in the second grade and this first grader, who I didn't know from Adam, started walking by me at recess and giving me full eye contact while mouthing the words "monkey face" (what an a-hole). I was crippled with shame. Did I have a monkey face? I silently ignored his advances and just did my best to avoid him. I spent a lot of time in the tunnel. But then he went and recruited this big bitch Katrina (if that name wasn't fitting) to pick on me too! They started yelling "MONKEY FACE" from across the playground. The worst part was that Big Bitch rode my bus. It was a long bus ride and she would sit behind me and kick my seat, rhythmically taunting with the monkey face bit. Now, he may have shamed me but this chick scared me....she was a first grader but close to twice my size. I was very small for my age. The next year I changed schools (coincidentally) and never had to deal with those two ever again. But I do think I remained self conscious about my face. And I for sure watched my words toward others.....if I was going to have a monkey face then I'd better be a nice monkey face, so that I could still have friends.

Later, in the sixth grade, a new bully entered my life. He was a seventh grader and his digs were significantly more clever. Either he was well practiced and really knew how to hurt feelings or he just got lucky - he mocked my daddy. Remember Fred Penner? Well, my dad in all his daddily awesomeness spent a lot of time playing his guitar for us and we danced around waiving our hands (and voices) in the air like we just didn't care. All. the. time. We lived in a townhouse and probably had our windows open 24/7, giving those seventh graders a daily live show of hilarity. So at the bus stop one morning the jerk started asking me if my dad was Fred Penner. This routine lasted weeks but I was well practiced at ignoring taunts (thank you Katrina) and he let up over time. Then one afternoon I was outside and he ran by crying with a nose bleed, some other kid said his dad punched him. I might have felt a little vindicated but I definitely thought Fred Penner would never hit a kid. Zing!

Laughing at a fathers affection when you aren't receiving it from your own father doesn't take Freud to decipher. But at the time and age it felt mean and senseless. I hope my children have the self confidence to stay strong in the face of children (and adults) who are projecting their own b/s on them. I hope I have the words to guide them and encourage them through this inevitable part of life. I'm starting to hear bits and pieces of language from Jack (M is mean, D told the teacher!) that indicate that he's beginning to label children. The best I've come up with is to help him understand that we're all learning how to treat others and that being nice to someone will help them learn to be nice too. Jack gets really bent when a child is unfriendly toward him and he really holds on to it. Any tips for helping him to get "unstuck" when this happens? I want him to empathize even when he's on the receiving end, to be able to see that it isn't necessarily about him. That said, I know how personal it feels when you're called a monkey face treated badly.

Friday, January 14, 2011

FOODIE Friday: Kale Chips Edition

Dinner last night was....ehhh. It was a crock pot deal with beef, potatoes, fennel. Edible and enjoyable but not blog worthy. BUT, I promised food and I intend to deliver so this will hafta do.

The package is empty -- just visualize kale with a yellow powdery hue -- so obviously they were good. (Disclaimer: I was STARVING) However, Harvey liked them too. The only downside is that they contain cashews - they would have been allergen free (for us) otherwise. Mother! I'm now inspired to make kale chips so if you have a recipe that you've used successfully please send it my way. Sheez, I was supposed to post a recipe and now I'm panhandling for one.

Anywhooz - these were made using a dehydrator which I don't have, and don't have room for, so I'll try doing an oven version. No, they won't have the same "raw quality" but if I can get Kale into Jack's stomach without surgical intervention I'll consider it a miracle. If not, Harvey and I will have to snarf them all - not. a. problem!

Mouths of my babes

Harvey: Mommy, I peed !!!
Me: (in cheesy/happy mama voice) You peed in the potty !??
Harvey: No, I peed in Jack's new shoe.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Jack has a girl friend...

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away.

At preschool pick-up yesterday, I was informed that Jack and a new little girl (we'll call her E), had been holding hands. E is a tall blonde, with glasses and a hankerin' for our boy. She sweetly put her face in Jack's and asked "will you be here the next time?" to which he responded "I'll see you next week". I coached them a bit and assured them that we'd all see each other tomorrow.

Today her mom said that E told her she's going to have three kids - a boy named Jack and two girls, "because girls are better". I can tell the hand holding is the only base they'll be sliding into any time soon. As we were reading nursery rhymes this afternoon, Jack stopped me at kissed the girls and made them cry and said "we don't kiss girls, I'll smack him in his face". And then he gave Georgie a wallup.

On a serious note: I'm really thrilled that E has taken to Jack. She's very verbal and gentle and seems just lovely. Now let's hope Jack returns the friendliness and doesn't do anything to make her cry.

Smoothie is the new Coffee?

Haven't mentioned it for fear of failing (again) but I totally retired my crack pot coffee pot. It's been a few weeks so the headaches, fatigue, and cravings have settled. Hot chocolate and chai tea have occasionally kept me on the straight and narrow and I'll indulge now and then, a 12 step program this is not.

So this is my new pick-me-up! It's no Mango-a-go-go, in fact it's more of a roughy than a smoothie with that big wad o' kale in there. There's very little after taste and the orange juice hides the hemp wang. One thing's for sure, these puppies will have your bod remembering how to poop in no time.

Without a propper poop segway, I've decided to implement "FOOD FRIDAY"s - I'll post a recipe and photos of one dinner from the week. With the boys home on Fridays, this will give me a quick and easy blog post and give me a little motivation to create at least one new and delicious (hopefully) allergy friendly meal to share!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


I have no valid excuses. I have time now. Time to get things done efficiently, time to myself, time FOR myself. I just had my first consultation with Rudi, our homeopath, and am looking forward to the balance and optimum health that the Heilkunst regime promises.

I've been "diagnosed" as a Phosphorus type. Here's a little run-down which is fairly accurate (height notwithstanding).

Appearance: Tall and slim with long limbs. Likes to be stylish. Artistic and creative in appearance. Fine skin. Can have fair to dark hair.

Mental and emotional aspects: Needs a lot of love and attention. Good fun to be around but can become demanding. Likes to be the centre of attention and like being cared for when upset or unwell. Expressive, affectionate and not afraid to show emotions. Needs reassurance regarding looks and image. Short attention span. Can be hard work for partner.

Physical weaknesses: Nervous system – especially fear and hypersensitivity. Circulation problems. Dizziness. Coughs and colds. Weakness of the lungs. Headaches. Left-side problems. Dietary factors: Likes sour and savoury foods, salt, spicy food, carbonated drinks, alcohol, mild cheeses and sweet foods. Dislikes strongly flavoured fish and fruit.

The Phosphorus child: Tall and slim with long legs and arms. Nervous. Likes to be with people and centre of attention. Loves to receive attention. Strong fear of the dark.

Heilkunst is more than just remedies, they are genuinely positive and encouraging. Rudi had a lot to say about gluten and why it affects so many. He is of the opinion that it's not the wheat itself, but more about the way it is grown and processed (well that makes sense) that has made people so intolerant of it. The old European process of bread making, for instance, ferments the wheat which makes it easier to digest and eliminates the problem most have with the grain. And the grain itself has been so mutilated with genetic modification, pesticides, and soil quality before it's speedily processed. Same goes for most of what our nation crams down it's face every day. The milk in your latte ain't from Bessie out back, doncha know.

Rudi said that Phosphorus mothers need a creative outlet of their own. Holla! I'll admit, I feel a little pressure to crank out better blog posts now that I won't always have babies hanging off my legs while I type. To be continued...

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Raves and Rants

SO excited! Jack's filing grievances over all the flash photography - get used
to it kid, you've got like 13 more first day of school pictures ahead of you.

Okay, I gotsta admit - having all this time to myself is SO WEIRD. Though I'm sure I will quickly adjust. My floors are clean! Which is making the base boards look really nasty. I dropped the boys off at preschool yesterday and they were both excited to go. Harvey couldn't have cared less that I was leaving (I'm not sad...not sad not sad not sad). When I arrived he said "Yay, mommy's here!" then ran to the boys he was playing with to say "mommy's here!!". Then he kept on playing. Jack really liked having Harvey there, no qualms whatsoever. He did tell me in the car on the way home "I couldn't care-uh Harvey cuz he's too heavy. Miss Megan will take care-uh Harvey". Someday I'll miss those little language puzzles.

Which brings me to Jack - he is doing GREAT! The gluten has left the building. I knew it would happen but the stress was playing tricks on my tired brain. And it had been a while since I had read up on the gluten/brain connection. For some, gluten can have a powerful affect on the body - showing itself in forms such as depression, anxiety, even schizophrenia. With all of those somewhere in our family tree - I'm not messing around with it again. That trial was enough evidence. I was finding myself in constant arguments with my logic. "His appetite does seem less" then came "UH, CUZ he's eating more you dingbat, relax!". "He has been angry a lot and getting physical with us which is out of character" then came "It's probably the miasm, it will calm down - he's learning to assert himself!". Oy vey. Delusion ain't just a river in Egypt.

So last week Jack had his first APE class with other children. He did awesome and the school is really nice which is important because he may go there next year for PEP (a pre-k of sorts). It's not the elementary school that he'll go to for kinder through fifth but it's the next closest elementary school to us. For APE he joins the developmental preschool kids so they are all right around Jack's age and size and I assume many of them have similar gross motor goals. And they seem like a really sweet group of kids! So, as I'm picking Jack up, they are piling out of the room with a few teachers/aids and this one teacher points to one of the kiddos and says to another teacher (right next to me): "THIS one can't to ANYTHING, I mean, don't even bother". WHAAAAT!?? I feel terrible for not saying something right then and there, I was in total disbelief. I mean, no teacher should ever say anything like that about any child, let alone a child with special needs. All children need us to have faith in their abilities - that kind of attitude is a ROAD BLOCK to that child's success. So now what do I do? Do I call and nark on her? Say something this week?? In the very least I'll be keeping personal tabs on Ms. Grumpy McBiz. So she'd better watch herself.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Are we (back) there yet?

All week, around 12:30 pm, the knot in my stomach has been telling me it's almost time to pick up Jack from preschool. Since coming off gluten he has just been allovertheplace. The unpredictability really unnerves me. Will he yell at me? Will I get word that he's been angry? Or will he finally be back to where he was and come beaming to the door, telling me about how awesome his day was? Oh please please let him get back to that!!!

I know, I know....dramatic much? But, I just want to see my little boy happy again. Seeing how heinous these gluten withdrawals have been for him just validates the decision to pull it from his diet. I feel awful for ever testing those waters but know on some level that we had to. As our naturopath said "in your defense, this is the only way to know". Mommy-guilt is a real b-word. And I will be too if anyone gives me grief about not feeding him wheat just because he doesn't have an IgE mediated reaction to it. Rowr.

And once he's back to being gluten (and fancy) free....I know him, and he'll hold on to how he WAS feeling for a while, confused by his own shift in mood. He had his first OT session yesterday at the new school (with a therapist he had about a year ago coincidentally) and he had a GREAT time! He loved the activities and talked to her right away. But he wouldn't talk to us about it (even me, and I was right there the whole time!) or admit that he had enjoyed it.

I'm reading the book Freeing Your Child From Anxiety and finding it really empowering. It's interesting to be reading exactly what we go through with Jack and knowing that we aren't the only ones dealing with behaviors like his. That there are tools and strategies that we can put into place that will help Jack to feel safer and more confident.

All that said, he was in such a good place just a month or so ago. If we can just get back there, I'll feel settled. I need to have patience, I keep getting glimmers of "happy Jack". He had a great day of preschool today, more smiles were reported! He told me "I will take care of Harvey at preschool" when we talked about Harvey starting on Monday. He's lucky I was driving (and he was safely buckled into his car seat) when he said that, cuz I wanted to squeeze the bejeebers out of him. Loving on his brudder is a definite step backward, and in this freaky stage of upside-down-ville, backward is just where we want to go.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Kyle Dine - Music About Food Allergies

A fun new discovery for our Jack man? Kyle Dine! A food allergic musician who devotes his talents to entertaining and educating kids with his fun food allergy songs. Living Without Magazine recently posted an interview with him where he shares his story.

Jack got really excited when I showed him pictures of Kyle Dine and told him that he had food allergies too. We listened to some of the songs together and he was interjecting with things like "he can't have eggs!" and "I can sing this song too!".

Monday, January 3, 2011

Happy Flu Year!

I'm alive! After days of knock knock knocking on death's door I can assure you, there's meaning behind those words.

We're all on the mend and although we holed up and tuned out all week, a lot has been happening. First, Jack is going through gluten withdrawals which, combined with sickness, has been pretty rough. He's having bouts of anger that are downright frightening. Looking back, some of that anger began weeks ago (I refused to immediately blame the wheat) but it's ten times worse right now. I'm hoping the withdrawals pass quickly, I believe it can take a month or two though for the gluten to leave your system completely. Just not sure if the gluten is the issue or if this is a wheat specific sensitivity. We can now see that his anxiety was increasing over the last month as well. I have a whole post on that - stay tuned.

Jack is at preschool today and (DRUM ROLL PLEASE) Harvey is going to start preschool as well! I just got the word today that they have a space for him. He still has a cough so I'll wait until he's completely well before starting him and I assume there's paperwork for me to fill out. I hope Jack responds well to having Harvey join him. I've been bringing it up and he hasn't been protesting the idea so I think he'll adjust. The preschool teachers are so wonderful and I know Harvey is going to love it. And I haven't even begun to explore what this will mean for me - except that I will finally get a chance to clean my floors!!!

A few book reviews have been posted within the blogosphere! Karen at Avoiding Milk Blog did a review and is now running a book giveaway. My dear friend and fellow blog mama Joanna reviewed the book on her blog Drew's Autism Recovery Diary. And another reader and heilkunstler, Janice, mentioned the book on her blog as well! Thank you ladies! More book info and updates to come!

ETA: When I picked Jack up from preschool he absolutely unleashed on me. He was screaming at me the very words I attempted to use to soothe him as I left that morning. He yelled "you will NOT come back, you will NOT pick me up, I don't want to go with you". I hauled him to the car, yowling all the way. I had to run to the post office and I hoped the car ride would offer him some cooling off time but he kept right on with the angry talk. So when we were getting close to home I pulled over and looked back at him with legitimate tears in my eyes and said "Jack, you're hurting my feelings". He immediately started waving his hands for me to stop - he hates when I cry. We got home, I put Harvey to sleep, and Jack and I snuggled, cuddled, tickled, and played for the rest of the afternoon. Today he had a GREAT day at preschool and I really think he's already starting to shift out of this withdrawal thing.